dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
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Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
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Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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