and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize