your room smells of hookers.
And success
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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