yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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