we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
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2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
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The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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