All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize