Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize