I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize