It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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