woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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