Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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