She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize