My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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