Your mouth is God's brothel.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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