I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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