Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
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I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
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this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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