I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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