i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
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Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
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It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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