Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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