Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize