He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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