Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
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I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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