What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
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