I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
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