I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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