I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize