I have demons in me.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
the condom got lost in my hair
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I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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