Having a random hookup so left but love u
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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