I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
True strength comes from lack of pants
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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