Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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