'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize