no. you can't hotbox the world.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
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his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
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My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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