Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Umm I'm too high to move.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
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