Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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