Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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