i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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