Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize