i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
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My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
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He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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