I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize