Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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