Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize