So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Less talking, more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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