no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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