you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
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He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
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What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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