I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize