You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
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The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
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MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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