I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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