I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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