He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize