Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize